Goodbye?
by Nikkigirl
Summary: During and after Eric's surgery, told from the point of view all the kids. Please read and review!
1. Waiting

This story takes place during and after Eric's surgery, and is told from the point of view of all of the kids.  I don't own any of the characters!

*Ruthie's P.O.V.*

            "Ok, Sam and David.  You guys hide and then I'll come find you", I told my 3-year-old twin brothers.  Before I could even start counting the phone rang.  It was at least the tenth time that afternoon, and I had a pretty good idea of who it was.  "Hi, Mom" I answered, rolling my eyes.

            "Ruthie," she pleaded from the other end of the phone.  "Please come to the hospital.  It would mean so much to your father to have you there.  He needs as much support from his family as he can get."

            "I know, Mom"  I told her for the tenth time.  "You told me.  But I'm not going. He lied to me.  I don't trust him anymore, and I don't want to see him."

            "I know, but please…" My mom began, but I interrupted.

            "I said no!"

            "Ruthie Camden!  I realize that you're angry, but that is no way to talk to your mother!" she said sternly.

            "Then stop calling and trying to change my mind!"  I snapped, then hung up the phone.  My dad had looked me in the eye and lied to me when I had asked him if he was ok.  He knew I was concerned, and he lied, about something as serious as open heart surgery!  How could I forgive him?  The rest of the family had left early this morning to go to the hospital, but I had volunteered to watch the twins.  And I had no intentions of going anywhere near my father.    

            "Ok, guys!"  I called cheerfully to the twins, who were playing with some toy cars on the living room floor.  "Now, you hide, and I'll come and find you."

*Simon's P.O.V.*

            _How could I have said that to my own father? I thought, as I paced back and forth in the small waiting room at Glen Oak Hospital.  __I practically told him that I wished he would die!  What if he does die?  I'll never be able to forgive myself!  I should have apologized when I found out about the surgery, but I was too angry.  Now it may be too late! What if I never get the chance…_

_            "Simon!"_

            Lucy's voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to look at her, Kevin, and Robbie, who were watching me from the old, torn up couch on the side of the room.  

            "Can you please stop pacing?  It's making me nervous."  I noticed that she had tears in her eyes.  She had been crying all morning.

            "Sorry," I mumbled, sinking into an even older chair next to the couch.  We had been here for about three hours already and had hardly spoken to each other at all.  I looked around the room, wishing it looked a little more cheerful.  The walls were painted white and a few mismatched chairs and tables were scattered around the room.  There was a small selection of toys in a basket in the corner, and several issues of _Better Homes and Gardens on one of the tables.  They were all out of date, and I should know.  I had read each one twice. I glanced over at the couch.  Robbie was staring off into space and Lucy was resting her head on Kevin's shoulder.  I couldn't stand the silence any more, so I decided to try and make conversation.  Turning toward Robbie I asked, "Do you think the surgery will turn out okay?"_

            Before he could answer, Lucy let out a sob and ran from the room.  Kevin glared at me and followed, calling her name. 

            "Never mind," I told Robbie, who still hadn't answered my question.  "I'm going to take a walk.  

*Robbie's P.O.V.*

I watched Simon leave, knowing I should ask where he was going and when he would be back, but I just sat silently.  I knew I couldn't tell anyone what was bothering me.  It sounded so selfish, but I couldn't help what I was feeling.  When Rev. Camden had announced that he was having surgery, I, like everyone else, had immediately thought, "What if he dies?".  But the next thing that came to my mind was, _If__ he dies, they'll kick me out of the house!  I knew that if Rev. Camden did die, money was going to be very tight for the family.  They couldn't afford to keep and extra kid, and I would be back on the streets.  I hadn't told anyone my fears, because I was too ashamed.  I had barley talked to Simon or Lucy all morning. Their father could die, and I was only thinking about myself.  And as much as I hated to admit it, I was jealous of Kevin.   Even if Rev. Camden __did die, he would be allowed to stay, since he and Lucy were going to be married.  I sighed and picked up an issue of __Better Homes and Gardens.  Simon had been reading it earlier.  Maybe it would be interesting.  _

*Lucy's P.O.V.*

            I heard Kevin running to catch up with me, but I pretended not to.  I needed some time alone, so I rushed into the women's restroom and locked myself into a stall.  I closed the lid to the toilet and sat down, crying into my hands.  _My father is in surgery now, and he could die at any minute!  What will I do without him?  I thought, in a panic.  My father was my inspiration.  I admired him so much that I was following in his footsteps and trying to become a minister as well.  He was so good at helping people with their problems, so patient and understanding.  If I couldn't rely on him for guidance, I didn't know what I would do.  I wasn't even sure if I could become a minister.  It would be too painful to think about him every time I gave a sermon, or counseled a couple, or helped a young child.  __Please, God,  I prayed silently  __Please help my father.  _


	2. News

*Kevin's P.O.V.*

            I watched Lucy run away from me and into the bathroom, knowing that she had heard me.  Why was she ignoring me?  I couldn't exactly go in after her, so I headed back to the waiting room where I found Robbie flipping through a magazine.  "Where's Simon," I asked, sitting down on one of the chairs. 

            "He took a walk," Robbie muttered.  "Where's Lucy?"

            "Bathroom" I answered, then picked up another magazine to let him know I was done talking.  I hadn't really thought about what would happen if Rev. Camden died.  Of course I would be upset, but mostly because I knew Lucy would be.  I didn't really know her father, and while I was grateful to him for giving me a place to live, I didn't care about him like a father.  I tried to imagine what the house would be like without him, but I couldn't.  It would be strange without him constantly giving advice and trying to find out what was going on in his kids' lives.  _Maybe, I thought, feeling guilty __it will be easier if he's gone.  We won't have to worry about being spied on or having him involved in our personal lives.  I had only been living there for a few months, and the lack of privacy was already becoming annoying.  It wasn't like I __wanted him to die.  I was just trying to see the good if he really did.  _

            My thoughts were interrupted when the door swung open and Mrs. Camden appeared in the doorway.  I could tell by her red, watery eyes that something was wrong, and I jumped up and walked toward her.

            "Mom, what's wrong?", I asked worriedly.

            "Where are Lucy and Simon?"  she demanded without answering my question. 

            "Uh, Simon took a walk and Lucy's in the bathroom." I glanced at my watch and realized that they had been gone for nearly an hour.  

            "Please find them,"  she told us, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

            "Ok, I'll get Lucy," I volunteered and ran out of the room without waiting for an answer.  I hurried toward the bathroom and knocked on the door.  "Luce, it's Kevin," I called. "Your mom wants to talk to us!"  Before I could say anything else, she had rushed out of the bathroom, her face red and tear streaked, her clothes messy.  

            "Good news or bad?"  She demanded anxiously.  

            "Um…,"  I began, not knowing how to tell her how upset her mother had looked.

            "It's bad?"  she asked, her face falling.  "Oh, God please let him be ok" 

            "It'll be ok, Luce,"  I tried to comfort her as she fell into my arms, crying again.

            "I don't want to hear it,"  she whispered  "As long as I don't hear it, I can pretend that everything's ok."  

            "You know you're just going to drive yourself crazy until you hear what your mom has to say," I said gently, stroking her back.  "I don't know for sure that it's bad."

            "Ok,"  she agreed, giving me a small smile through her tears.

            By the time we got back to the waiting room, Simon and Robbie were back, sitting on the couch facing Mrs. Camden.  Lucy and I each took a seat and she began to talk. 

            "Th-there were s-some complications," she choked out, starting to cry again.  "His h-heart was weaker th-than they thought.  H-he's still in s-surgery.  When h-he's done, they'll t-take him to r-recovery.  I-if he's strong and h-he fights, he'll b-be ok.  If n-not…"  she trailed off even though everyone knew what she was going to say.  _If not, he'll die.  _

_            I glanced around the room to see how everyone else was taking the news.  Lucy was sobbing, Robbie's face had turned white, and Simon was looking down, refusing to meet my eyes.  _

            "I-I would like you to go get Ruthie and b-bring her here.  I think she would want to b-be here," Mrs. Camden continued.  

            "Of course," I answered.  "Will you be ok?"  

            "I-I'll be ok," she gave me a shaky smile.  "Please get her before its too late."

*Lucy's P.O.V.*

            I glanced up at the clock as we drove down the highway on the way to the house.  Only 1:00 pm.  It seemed like we had been in the hospital for years. I was in the back seat, leaning my head against Kevin's shoulder.  Robbie and Simon were up front, neither of them talking.  I couldn't believe my dad was so close to dying!  Well, actually I could believe it.  I had had a strange feeling in my stomach all day, like I knew what was going to happen.  

            Robbie pulled into our driveway and turned off the car, but no one made any effort to move. "The babysitter for Sam and David should be here soon. Robbie and Kevin, do you guys want to go get Ruthie?" I asked.

            Robbie turned to me in surprise.  "Us?  Don't you think she should hear the news from a family member?"

            "Robbie, she loves you.  And Kevin, she respects you more than anyone else in the family.  Trust me, she wants to hear it from you."

            "Ok,"  Kevin said slowly, climbing out of the car.  "We'll be back soon."

            After they had left, I turned to look at Simon.  He hadn't said anything since mom had given us the news.  "What's wrong?"  I asked, touching his arm.

            "What do you mean 'What's wrong'" he snapped, jerking his arm away.  "Dad's dying!  What do you think is wrong?" 

            "First of all, we don't know he's dying," I said.  Even though I wanted to cry every time someone said the word 'die', I tried to remain calm.  "And secondly, I know that's not all that is bothering you."

            He finally looked up at me and I could see tears in his eyes.  "You wanna know what's wrong?  Last week told him that if he weren't around, I would be happy!  Now that he may _not be around much longer, how do you think I feel?  I was just tired of being the good little minister's kid, you know?   Everyone expects me to be perfect, and dad doesn't understand.  I didn't mean it!  I swear I didn't mean it!  I never even apologized.  If he dies, he'll never know how sorry I am!"  By now he was sobbing so hard his whole body was shaking.  I moved to the front seat and hugged him like I used to when we were little.   _

            "He knows, Simon,"  I tried to assure him.  "He knows you were angry, and he doesn't blame you.  Trust me.  I know how you were feeling.  We all went through it.  Matt, Mary, Me, you, next Ruthie, then the twins.  When you're in high school you resent being known as a goody goody.  It's normal.  And dad understands too."

            He had stopped crying and turned to look at me.  "Are you sure?" 

            "Yeah, he knows you're sorry."  

            "Thanks, Lucy,"  He said, giving me a hug.  Then, we sat together in silence while we waited to go back to the hospital and see our father for possibly the last time.  

  **********************************************************************************************

Next chapter:  Ruthie hears the news about her father.   Please review!


	3. Pray

*Ruthie's P.O.V.*

After I had finally gotten the twins to go down for their nap, I headed to the living room to watch TV.   As I passed the door, someone knocked on and I peeked out one of the windows.  _Oh, great I thought __Now mom's sending Robbie and Kevin to try and change my mind.  Even though I wanted to ignore them, I unlocked the door and they stepped in.  As soon as I saw them I realized that they weren't here to lecture me.  They both looked like they were holding back tears.  _

            "Ruthie,"  Kevin said gently "Can we go sit on the couch and talk?" 

            I followed him silently to the living room and sat in a chair facing them.  "Well, what's going on?" I asked, dreading the answer.  

            "There's been a problem,"  Robbie began.  "Your father's heart is very weak, and..."

            He kept talking, but I was not paying attention.  _He's gonna die!  Oh my God, he can't die!  Not before I am able to forgive him!  And I can't forgive him, not yet.  Oh no!_

_            "Ruthie?"  Kevin asked, touching my leg.  _

            "What?" I asked, pretending that I wasn't upset.

            "Did you hear Robbie?" 

            "Yeah.  So what?  I'm mad at him."

            "Ruthie!,"  Robbie cried, sounding surprised.  "You can't still be mad about that.  He was only trying to protect you."

            "He lied to me.  I want to forgive him, but I can't.  How can I forgive him?"  Despite my efforts, I had begun to cry.

            "Ruthie," Robbie said, handing me a tissue "I know it's hard.  I know you feel betrayed, but your dad really felt like he was doing the best thing for everyone. Please come to the hospital.  Maybe after you talk to him you'll feel better."

            "I'll come," I decided.  "But I don't know if I'll talk to him."

            "That's ok,"  Kevin assured me.  "Just see what happens when we get there."  

*Simon's P.O.V.* 

            After talking with Lucy I felt a lot better.  I think she understands me better than anyone in the family.  Maybe my feelings _were normal.  But I still wanted to apologize as soon as I could. _

            The ride back to the hospital was quiet, and when we parked everyone rushed back to the small waiting room where my mom was sitting and staring into space.  She looked startled when she saw us, then smiled.   _Good news!  I thought hopefully.  __She smiled, it must be good news!  _

            "The surgery is over and he's doing better.  He's still very weak, so no one can see him until possibly tomorrow, but he's alive."  She smiled again, but she looked very tired.  

            _He's alive!  I thought, sinking into a chair as relief washed over me.  _

            "So he's out of the woods?"  Kevin asked cautiously.

            "Well, not quite," mom answered, her smile fading a little.  "But it looks good.  If you kids would like to go home for awhile…"

            "No."  I interrupted.  "I want to stay."  I needed to be here the moment I could talk to him so I could apologize.  

Everyone else nodded their agreement.  

            "Ok,"  Mom said.  "I'm going to speak with the doctor.  You can hang out here for awhile."

            Now that we knew dad would be ok, the atmosphere in the room was much more cheerful.  "Let's watch TV," Lucy suggested.  We were all feeling agreeable, so we did.  But by the second straight hour, we were starting to feel bored.  And by the fourth, I was ready to rip the stupid TV out of the wall.  

            "Don't they have anymore news?"  I asked for the 20th time.  No one bothered to answer.  I wasn't surprised since they had been ignoring me for at least an hour.  Finally, my mom came back into the room and we all turned to look at her.  She had been crying.  Again.

            "His heart…it's too weak.  They won't tell me much…it doesn't look good."

            I felt my own heart sink at her news. Had I just been praying for to hear something a few minutes ago?  Now I knew what that saying 'No news is good news' really meant.  Lucy was sobbing.  _How can she cry so much in a day? I wondered.   _

            "Let's pray."  Ruthie suggested and we all turned to her.  "Dad always says to pray, so let's pray for him."  

            Slowly, we all joined hands and put our heads down. "God," Ruthie began quietly, "Please help my dad…"

*Lucy's P.O.V.*

            After we finished praying, my mom ran off to find the doctor.  I glanced at my watch and saw that it was about 7:00.  We hadn't eaten lunch yet, but I wasn't hungry.  I _was tired of sitting around though, so I suggested that we head down to the cafeteria.  Everyone agreed unenthusiastically, so we walked to the large, loud room that reminded me of a school cafeteria.  We each ordered a sandwich and sat down, not really eating.   _

            _He's gonna die.  I know he is, I can feel it.  What will I do without him?  Mom is great, but she doesn't really understand me.  Dad is more than my father.  He's my teacher, he's my friend.  What am I going to do?_

_            We sat there on the hard, brightly colored plastic chairs for about a half hour.  When I finally looked up from my sandwich (I wasn't even sure what kind it was)  I saw that no one had been eating.  "Let's go back up to see if mom has anymore news," I suggested, knowing that that was what everyone wanted.  Everyone stood up silently and dumped their food into the trashcan.  _

            "I'll be right there,"  Robbie announced.  

            "Me too,"  Ruthie immediately said, sitting back down.

            "Ok," I agreed, in no mood to argue.  Then I turned and followed Kevin and Simon back up to the waiting room.  

*Robbie's P.O.V.*

            I really wanted to be alone, but I didn't know how to tell Ruthie to leave, so I just sat back down at the table.  

            "So, what's going on?"  She asked sitting down across from me.

            I sighed.  I did not need her trying to find out was wrong, because knowing her, she would find out.  "Nothing."

            "Robbie, I like to think that we're friends.  And real friends tell each other when something is wrong."

            "I'm just a little worried about what will happen to me if something does happen to your dad." I told her reluctantly.

            "Why?"

            "Because you guys wont have as much money, and you wont be able to afford to keep me!"  I hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but now it was too late. When I finally looked up at Ruthie, she was laughing!  "What is so funny?" I demanded.

            "Robbie, everyone in this family loves you!  My mom wishes you were her own son, and you are a great big brother to Lucy, Simon, me, and the twins.  We would never kick you out."  She said this like it was so obvious she couldn't believe I had thought anything else.

            "Seriously?" I asked. 

            "Yeah," she replied, smiling at me.  I leaned across the table and hugged her.  

            "I love you Ruthie."

            "I love you too." She answered, returning my hug.  "Now, let's go back upstairs."

Next chapter: The kids find out the outcome of their father's operation.  Please review!


	4. I Love You

*Lucy's P.O.V.*

            I tried to remain cheerful when we got back to the waiting room, which was beginning to feel like a second home to me.  "Hey, guys, let's play a game," I suggested.  My idea was met with groans, but Kevin and Simon eventually agreed to play Trivial Pursuit with me.  We had been playing for about 20 minutes when Robbie and Ruthie arrived.  "Come on, play with us!  Ok, Simon, which part of an egg becomes the chicken, the white or the yoke?"  

            "Lucy, I don't _care! __ I don't want to play stupid board games!  Dad might be dying!"  he yelled, knocking the board on the floor. _

            "Ok, ok you're right.  I'm sorry.  We're all tired and stressed.  Let's try to go to sleep."  

            "What if something happens and we don't find out in time?"  Ruthie asked.

            "Mom will come get us", I assured her. Everyone nodded and I went to ask a nurse for some blankets.  I returned to the room, handed them out, and curled up on the couch with Kevin.  Maybe when I fell asleep I could forget how scared I was.  

            "Lucy!  Hey Luce!"  I tried to ignore Kevin even though it was hard with him nudging my arm.  I was tired, and for some reason that I couldn't quite remember, I didn't want to get up.

            "Go away," I mumbled, trying to pull the covers over my head.  _Just leave me alone!  _

_            "Your mom is here, you need to wake up!"  he insisted urgently._

            I finally found the energy to lift my head off the pillow.  Kevin was sitting next to me on the couch, shaking my arm.  Robbie, Simon, and Ruthie were still asleep in their chairs.  My mom was standing in front of me, and she was crying.  "Lucy, your father is dying.  He has maybe 2 hours to live before his heart gives out.  He wants to talk to you."

            "Ok," I muttered sleepily, not really comprehending what she was telling me.  I still couldn't remember why I hadn't wanted to wake up. 

            "Lucy!  Do you understand what I said?"  My mother had grabbed my arm, and I wished she would let go.  

            "Yeah,"  I answered yawning.  "Let's go." 

            "Lucy!,"  Kevin almost yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders.  "Your father is dying.  _Dying!  Do you understand?" _

            I stared at him blankly for a moment before the memories of the previous day came rushing back.  'Your father is dying!'  He was dying!  _No, not yet, I'm not ready! I thought in a panic.  I would have fallen over if Kevin didn't still have me by the shoulders.  I buried my face in his chest and began to sob. __What do I do, what do I do?  What do I say?  How do you talk to your father when he could die any minute? _

            My mother cleared her throat and came over to us.  "I'm sorry Lucy, but he'll only be alert for another hour or so.  Please go talk to him now if you want to.  But don't feel pressured.  You don't have to go."

            "I-I'm going,"  I choked out, shakily heading for the door.

            When I got to my father's door, I hesitated, unsure if I should go in or not.  I wanted to remember him looking happy and healthy, not sick and dying.  After a moment I decided that if I passed up my opportunity to say goodbye I would regret it for the rest of my life.  I pushed open the door and took a deep breath before entering.  My father was lying on the bed, eyes closed, face pale.  There were IVs coming out of his arms and wires attached to his chest.  If I hadn't been able to see the slow rise and fall of his chest, I would have thought he was already dead.  

            "Dad," I asked quietly.  I saw his eyes open.

            "Luce, come here, so I can see you."  I was shocked by the hoarse whispery sound that came out of his mouth, but I obeyed.  "You're so beautiful," he continued, and I could see the tears in his eyes.  "Don't forget that.  And you can do anything you want in life.  Do you know how happy it made me when you said you wanted to be a minister?  I was so proud.  I bragged to everyone at church about you.  I can't think of anyone who would be better at it than you.  You're so caring and sensitive."  I could tell that he was getting weaker, but he kept talking after taking my hand.  "I regret not being able to see you become a minister, and to never see your wedding day, but remember, I'll always be with you.  I love you."

            By now tears were streaming down both of our faces.  "I love you too Dad.  I'll miss you so much.  I promise I'll be the best minister that I can.  I want to make you proud, Dad.    I'll think about you everyday.  You were my inspiration.  You mean so much to me."  I broke off and wrapped my arms around my father.  We stayed like that, hugging and crying, for ten minutes, but it felt like ten seconds.  I never wanted to let go, never wanted to lose the safe, loved feeling I got when I was in his arms.  But I knew I had to.  "I love you, Dad," I whispered before leaving the room.

*Simon's P.O.V.*

            I woke up to the sound of sobbing.  I opened my eyes and saw Lucy fall into Kevin's arms.  After a minute she left the room.  I sat up sleepily and looked over at my mom.  She was also crying.  _Uh, oh I thought __this can't be good.  "What's wrong?"_

            "Your father is dying,"  mom told me gently, sitting down next to me.  "After Lucy gets back, you can tell him goodbye."

            _Oh my God My father is dying!  I wanted to throw up.  __I need to apologize.  I grabbed my mothers hand and asked, my voice shaking, "How long?"  _

            "A few hours."  _Too soon!  I'm not ready.  It seemed like hours before Lucy came back.  I tried not to notice how distraught she looked as Kevin wrapped his arms around her.  I took off toward my dads room and almost ran into the door.  I paused to catch my breath before going in, but when I did I gasped._

            He looked _so sick lying helplessly in the bed.  So different than he had the day before.  "Dad!,"  I gasped running over to his bed.  "I'm sorry!  I'm so sorry!  I wont be happy without you.  I'll be miserable!  You're a great father and I love and respect you.  I didn't mean it!"  Without meaning to I had begun to cry, but it didn't matter because he was too.  _

            "Simon," he said weakly.  "I know.   I know you didn't mean it.  But I forgive you.  I love you.  I know you've had a rough year, but I am so proud of you.  I know you had a difficult decision to make a couple of weeks ago, but I never doubted that you made the right one.  You're a good person and you have the potential to be very successful."

            "Dad, I know you wondered what happened that night.  I took my friend's baby to the hospital so that she would be safe.  I couldn't take the risk that my friend might abandon the baby, so I offered to help."  

            "And that is what makes you such a great person."  Hearing my father's praise and knowing that I had his approval was an amazing feeling.  I had begun to doubt that he was proud of me over the last few years, and it was such a relief to know I was wrong.  "I love you, Dad.  I'll miss you forever."

            "I love you too, son," 

I hope you liked this chapter.  Sorry I had Eric die!  Please review!  And thanks to the people who already did!


	5. He's Gone

*Ruthie's POV*

            "Ruthie, it's your turn."  My mother told me as Simon walked back into the room.  I had been dreading the moment when I would have to face my father.  I was still angry, but how do you tell I dying man that you are mad at him?  I nodded and slowly walked toward his room.  After a moment I reluctantly opened the door and peeked inside.  When I saw my father, I knew it would be even harder than I thought to say what was on my mind.  He looked so weak and _old.  I had never seen him look so old.  _

            "Ruthie,"  He whispered, raising his arm slightly.  "Come here."

            I took a deep breath and walked over to the side of his bed.  "Dad, I'm still angry with you.  I don't know if I can forgive you for lying to me.  I want to, but I don't know if I can,"

            Instead of getting angry like I had thought he would, he just shook his head and I saw tears in his eyes.  "Ruthie, I'm so sorry.  You're absolutely right, I shouldn't have lied.  It's just that you're only 12 and I didn't know how you would handle it if I told you think truth.  Sometimes I forget how mature you are.  Please forgive me,"  

            His plea made my stomach twist.  He sounded desperate and anguished.  How could I let him die feeling that way? "I forgive you," I whispered.  "I love you dad."

            "I love you, too Honey.   I'm very proud of you.  I want you to know that.  You're so smart and mature for your age.  You're so observant, you notice everything.  Don't lose that.  It will help you in life."

            "I'll miss you so much,"  I began to cry.  "Why do you have to leave now?"

            "I don't know.  Only God knows.  He must have a reason.  I just wish He could have given me a few more years."

*Robbie's POV*

            "I'm going to get the twins.  They need to say goodbye, too,"  Mrs. Camden announced.  I wasn't really paying attention.  I knew that when Ruthie got back it would be my turn to say goodbye.  A minute or two after Mrs. Camden left, Ruthie came back, crying.  I slowly walked out of the room without looking at anyone and made my way down the long hallway to Rev. Camden's room.  As soon as I opened the door, I heard his voice, only it didn't sound like his. 

            "Robbie, please come here,"  

            I stepped up to the bed and almost gasped when I saw how pale he was.  "Rev. Camden, I just want to thank you for letting me into your family and being a real father to me.  I feel more at home with you guys than with my real family.  You have been wonderful.  And I understand that I'm going to have to move out.  And I'm ok with that."

            "What do you mean?"  He asked, frowning.  "You're moving out?"

            "Well I just thought that money might be a little tight and Mrs. Camden wouldn't be able to afford…"

            "No, Robbie, she would never kick you out.  She loves you.  Everyone does.  I think of you as my son."

            "I love you too.  You're a much better father than mine could have ever been.  I'll miss you."

            "I'll miss you too. And don't ever feel like you aren't part of this family."

            "Thanks, Rev. Camden." 

*Kevin's POV*

            After Robbie returned, I figured it was my turn. I tried to think of something to say on the way to his room, but couldn't. When I entered the room I walked over to Rev. Camden's bed.  I looked at him, and thought of Lucy, and suddenly I knew just what to say.  "Rev. Camden, I would like your permission to propose to Lucy." 

            "Of course you have my permission, Kevin.  I can' think of a better man for my daughter.  I only regret that I won' be there on your wedding day."

            "Thank you, Sir.  And thank you for allowing me to stay with you and your family."

            "You're welcome, Kevin."  I couldn't help think that this conversation sounded so polite and forced.  But I wasn't sure how to change that.  I just didn't feel very close to Rev. Camden.  

            "Uh, goodbye" I finally muttered after an awkward silence.

            "Goodbye", he whispered.  

*Lucy's POV*

            As soon as Kevin walked back into the room, I flew into his arms.  I had been crying uncontrollably since I had talked to my father and I needed someone to comfort me. My mom, who had just arrived with the twins stood up and cleared her throat.  "I'm going to bring the twins in to say goodbye now.  Then I'll bring them back out and let your father call Matt and Mary in private.  Then I'll go say my goodbyes."  I was amazed at how calm she sounded. I guess she was trying to be strong so the twins wouldn't see her break down and get scared. 

            When she received no response from us, she walked out of the room. We sat silently, waiting.  Anticipating and dreading the moment when our mother would tell us that dad was gone.  I almost wished he would hurry up and die already, as horrible as that sounded, but I couldn't take this.  The waiting.  It was 4:00 in the morning.  Less that 24 hours ago we had brought my father here for a simple double bypass.  Now he was dying.  How could the doctors let that happen?  Eventually we all lay down on the lumpy furniture, but I knew no one was asleep.  No one wanted to miss the highly anticipated moment when we would be given the news that would change the rest of our lives.  I don't know how long we waited, maybe 5 minutes, maybe 5 hours.  At one point mom brought the twins back and they immediately fell asleep next to me on the couch. 

            I jumped when I heard the door open and turned to see my mother, tears streaming down her cheeks, an expression of pain on her face. "No," I whispered, without meaning to. 

            "He's gone,"  She cried, then broke into sobs. I felt my stomach twist and the blood drain from my face.  If I hadn't been sitting down I would have fallen over. Tears began to stream down my face as I stood to hug my mother.  We sat down together, sobbing and soon everyone had joined us on the couch.    Despite the anguish I felt, I was somewhat comforted by the presence of my family.  Knowing that they were going through the same thing as me lessened my pain.  We weren't ashamed or embarrassed, no one was trying to hide the fact that they were crying.  Even though it was a tragic time, I felt that our bond as a family had gotten stronger.  For over an hour all eight of us stayed on that couch, hugging and crying, trying to make sense of our father's death.  

Hope you liked that chapter.  There will probably be one more.  Thanks for the reviews!   


	6. Now What?

*Lucy's POV*

            "I'm home!" I announced as I opened the door to the house 3 weeks later.  When I got no response, I sighed and muttered to myself, "Not that anyone cares."  Ever since dad had died, I had been trying to be cheerful and perky too make up for the rest of the family's depressed silence.  It wasn't working.  Since his death, we had been having a pretty rough time.  The church said we could keep our house for a year before they were going to kick us out, so mom had gotten a job as a teacher at a high school across town, which she hated.  She was always quiet and depressed now, spending most of her time in her room crying. 

            I had had to drop out of my classes at college to save money and had gotten a job as a secretary at a large company.  The work was boring and tedious, but it was a paycheck.  It seemed like Robbie was trying to earn his keep around the house.  Since mom had apparently lost interest in keeping the house running smoothly, he had taken over all of her duties.  He left for school early in the morning, then went to work.  When he got home he did laundry, dusted, vacuumed, made dinner, and took care of the twins.  I tried to help as much as possible, but my job was keeping me pretty busy. And since the twins weren't in school full time yet, I had to pick them up from the babysitter's after work and then watch them until someone else was home.  

            Simon was done with his rebellious faze, but his grades were dropping. Lucky for him mom was too preoccupied to notice.   He spent most of his time locked in his room, doing who knows what.  Ruthie was getting in trouble almost every day for fighting.  She had become a bad girl, she had lost all of her friends, and her grades were also dropping.  The twins were much quieter since Dad's death, but sometimes asked when Daddy was coming home.  It was heart breaking to see how innocent they were, they really didn't understand that Daddy was dead.  Kevin was the only one who was acting normal.

            "Oh, hey Lucy," Robbie greeted me as he walked downstairs carrying a huge pile of laundry. "I was just gonna throw in some of the laundry.  After that I was going to make dinner.  What do you want?"  

            "It doesn't matter.  But Robbie? You don't need to be doing all this."

            "Oh, I don't mind.  I like helping out."  After that he disappeared into the laundry room. 

            I headed upstairs to the room Ruthie and I shared.  She was lying on her bed staring into space.  Last month she would have been reading or doing homework, but not now.  "So?"  I asked sitting next to her.

            "So what?"  She snapped.

            "Did you get in trouble today?"

            "Yeah," She responded, pulling a crumpled sheet of paper out of her pocket and handing it to me.

            "You got into _another fight with Katie Jones?"  I asked, studying the paper.  "And they want to talk to mom about it?  She's not going to be happy."_

            "That's why you're going to call and pretend to be Mom."  Ruthie informed me, barely even glancing at me.  In the old days, she would have begged, pleaded, and bribed me to get what she wanted.  These days, she didn't even bother.  It was depressing.  

            I sighed and reluctantly agreed, mainly because I knew how upset Mom would be to hear about Ruthie's problems. "Ok," she said.  "Come back around 7 and I'll give you the number."  Then she turned away and ignored me until I left.   I missed my little sister.  This wasn't the Ruthie that I knew and loved.  She had changes into a different person since dad had died, and I wasn't sure if she was ever coming back.  

*Simon's POV*

            I heard Lucy coming down the stairs from her room, and knew she would knock on my door next.  Two seconds later she called "Simon, can I come in?" 

            I sighed and climbed off my bed to open the door for her.  "Do you have any homework?"  She asked.  It sounded like an innocent question, but I knew what she meant was, "Do you have homework? Why aren't you working on it now?  You have to try or you're going to fail,"   It would turn into a huge lecture, the kind I used to get from Mom and Dad.  But Dad was dead and Mom didn't want anything to do with us, so Lucy was taking over.  

            "Yeah," I muttered.  I had tried to do my homework.  It was algebra, my best subject, but in the last few weeks it was making no sense. I looked at problems that used to be simple for me and they looked like another language.  I couldn't concentrate in school, and had trouble paying attention in class.  My teachers had had several "talks" with me, but because of the "hard times your family is going through" they hadn't called   
Mom.

            "Ok," Lucy said brightly "I'll help you"  

            "I don't need help," I snapped, heading toward the door.  "And I'd appreciate it if you'd _leave me alone!"  She shot me a hurt look before leaving the room and I slammed the door after her.  I just wanted to be alone.  I missed my dad so much and I still felt guilty for the things I had said before he died.  He told me he forgave me, but I wasn't sure if he really meant it.  I had been depressed since he died, and being around cheerful people only made me feel worse. _

*Robbie's POV*

            I slammed the washer shut, then walked off to find Sam and David.  I groaned when I found them on the floor in the living room shredding all of the tissues that had been in the box on the coffee table.  "C'mon guys, let's go upstairs," I said, picking them up.  When we got to their room I pulled out several of their favorite toys and sat them on the floor.  "I have to go downstairs now, you two be good," I called on my way out of the room.  I was already thinking about the rest of the chores that had to be done.  _Ok, first clean up the mess in the living room.  Make dinner.  Finish the laundry.  Give the twins a bath.  Write report for school.  Mop kitchen floor if I have time.  Since Rev. Camden had died, I had been responsible for all this and more everyday.  I got up at 5:00 every morning and got to bed by 11:00 pm if I was lucky.  I didn't mind helping out, but I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep up my grades, keep my job, __and keep the house running smoothly.  I was getting help from no one, except Lucy on occasion, and it was tough. I kept telling myself that after everyone had had a chance to recover from their pain of missing Rev. Camden, they would be back to their old selves.  But it wasn't happening.  Maybe I just had to face the fact that things would never be the same again._

I am either going to have the next chapter be the last, or end here and start another story about the Camdens trying to deal with Eric's death and running out of money.  What do you think I should do?  Please tell me!


	7. Bad News

Sorry it took awhile for this chapter! I will try to get the next one up soon.

*Lucy's POV*

            A week later I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing next to my bed. I squinted at the clock and saw that it was only 6:00 am.  _Who could be calling now?  I wondered, annoyed. Sighing, I climbed out of bed and brought the receiver to my ear.  "Hello?"_

            "Hey Lucy!"  I heard Matt's cheerful voice say.  It was strange to hear someone besides myself sounding happy.

            "Hi.  Why are you calling so early?"

            "I'm glad to talk to you too.  Sorry, I forgot about the time difference.  It's 9:00 here.  How's everyone doing?"

            "Ok."  I hadn't seen Matt since the funeral.  He didn't know what had been going on.  

            "How are _you doing?"  He sounded concerned. _

            "Ok.  It's hard, but I'm doing ok.  What about you?"  I was eager to have a conversation with someone who actually wanted to talk back to me.

            "Well, I was thinking I might come out for a visit next week."

            "You were just here."  I answered, wondering what was going on.

            "I know, but I thought since you guys were going through such a hard time that I could help."

            "You have a life of your own.  You don't need to drop it to come help us.  We're fine." I was starting to get angry.  Did he think he was some kind of superman who could come to visit and suddenly everything would be ok again?  

            "I just thought…" He began, sounding hurt.

            "Never mind.  We're fine.  Goodbye."  I hung up the phone.  I glanced over at Ruthie, who was awake, but still lying on her bed.  I remembered before Dad's death, how she would do anything to hear an interesting phone conversation.  Now she couldn't care less.  

*Simon's POV*

            I was in my room sitting on my bed and staring into space (that had become my favorite activity) when I heard mom calling my name.  Since it was so rare to hear her speak lately, I decided that I better pay attention.

            She walked into my doorway and announced, "I quit my job." 

            "What?" I asked, surprised.  How did she expect to get money? 

            "I quit my job."  She repeated her voice emotionless. "We might have to go without some things, because we won't be able to afford them.  I just thought you should know."  

            I couldn't bring myself to act upset, and it didn't matter because Mom was already on her way out.  How were we going to afford anything?  Lucy, Kevin, and Robbie were the only ones with jobs.  Robbie's money went to pay fro school and Kevin only paid us $100 a month to rent the garage apartment. _ I guess I'm going to have to get a job I thought __But__ there is no way I'll make as much money as Mom was. As I walked back to my bed,  Lucy ran in.  _

            "Did mom tell you?"  She demanded.

            "Yeah"

            "And you don't care?  What are we going to do?  How could she do this?"

            "What am I gonna do about it?"

             "Someone needs to talk some sense into her."

            "How about you?' I suggested, turning away from her.

            "I tried, she won't listen." Lucy sounded like she was about to cry.  Normally I would try to comfort her, but now I just felt annoyed.  She glanced at me one more time before turning and running out of the room.

Ruthie's POV

            I dumped the contents of my book bag on the bed and stared at the worksheet I had for homework. It was easy stuff, I could probably finish in 10 minutes, but I just didn't feel like it.  I was angry.  Ever since Dad had died, I had been angry at God for taking him.  Angry at Dad for leaving.  Angry at Mom for always going into her room when I needed her.  The only way I knew to get rid of the anger was to fight.  I needed my mom and I figured that the only way to get her to notice me was fighting and getting bad grades.  But she didn't care.

            "Ruthie!" Lucy cried, running into the room.

            I rolled my eyes and turned to look at her.

            "Mom quit her job" She announced

            "Oh." I replied, turning back to my book bag.  Well, maybe mom will have more time for me now.

            "You don't care?"  She asked.  When I didn't answer, she sighed and left the room.  _Finally.__ I thought. _

Lucy's POV

            Nobody cared!  No one cared that the family was falling apart except for me.  Ruthie and Simon basically told me to get lost.  I had also talked to Robbie.  He was convinced that if he got another job, everything would be fine.  I sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out what to do when the phone rang.

            "Hello?"

            "Lucy?  This is Lou.  From the church."

            I sighed.  What did he want?  "Hi, Lou."

            "I uh, heard that your mother uh, quit her job."

            I was surprise he knew already, but then again, everyone in town, especially Lou, always knew our personal business. "Yeah, she did"

            "Well, I know we decided you could keep the house for another year, but that was only so that you could get back on your feet.  Your mother is obviously not trying to do that since she quit the job and is making no money and since none of you…"

            "Lou, is there a point to this?" I asked, getting impatient.

            "Yes. We can't allow you to keep the house unless you are making an effort to move on.  And you're not."

            "Wait, you're taking the house back?"  I asked, panicked. 

            "I'm afraid we have to.  We need it for the new minister."

            "Do you know what this means?" I was beginning to yell. "We are homeless!  We have almost no source of income!  We're going to die!"

            "I realize that…"

            "Shut up!" I snapped, slamming the phone down.  _Great, this is just perfect. I have to talk to Mom.  Maybe she'll take the job back if I tell her what's going on.             "Mom" I yelled, running up the steps.  I opened the door to her room and found her crying on the bed.  "Mom, the church is taking our house because you don't have a job!   and found her crying on the bed.  "Mom, the church is taking our house because you don't have a job!  You have to take it back."_

            She looked at me with teary eyes and whispered, "I can't Luce.  It's too hard.  I can't go on without him.  I'm sorry.  So sorry…"  Then she broke down sobbing.

Hope you liked this chapter!  Please review!  Next chapter: the family moves 


	8. Moving

*Ruthie's POV*

            Moving day.  I was moving out of the house that I had lived in for my entire life, but I didn't feel sad.  I guess since I had lost my father and might as well have lost my Mom too in the last month I couldn't get too upset about a house.  WE had had to sell a lot of our stuff to afford the house, and even after that we couldn't get much.  We were renting an old, falling apart house about 5 minutes away from the old house.  I stood in front of our old house, my bags in my hand, looking at it for the very last time.  

            "Ready?" Lucy asked, touching my arm.  I didn't answer, but slowly started walking toward the car.  Since there was so many of us we had to split up for the drive.  I rode with Lucy, Kevin, and Simon in Kevin's car. Everyone else rode in the moving truck we had rented.  No one talked during the ride, but I could tell that Lucy was upset.  She also seemed to be angry at Kevin, but I didn't know why.  I think it was the first time I had ever not known when something big was going on with the family.  Besides Dad's surgery.  I hadn't known about that either.  

*Lucy's POV*

            I sat stiffly next to Kevin in the car, silently fuming.  This morning he had come up to me and told me that he was going to rent an apartment on his own and that he wanted me to move in with him.  I told him that I couldn't abandon my family when they needed me so much, and he had gotten angry.  Now I wasn't sure what to do.  Matt had called again this morning before we left, and I had told him what was going on. He said he would figure something out, but I wasn't sure what he could do from across the country. The ride to the new house was short, and when we arrived I stepped out and took a good look at it.  It was small and run down.  The paint was peeling and several shingles had fallen off of the roof.  The weeds and grass in the tiny front yard desperately needed to be cut.  I forced a smile and turned to my siblings.  "It looks great!"

            "Yeah right" Simon muttered, grabbing a bag and heading toward the house.  Ruthie didn't bother answering as she did the same.

            "See, they don't appreciate what you're doing for them.  Come with me." Kevin said, wrapping his arms around me.

            "I can't.  At least not until my mom starts acting normal again."  I pulled away from him and walked toward the house.  I opened the creaky door and walked into our living room.  The walls were painted an off white, but were so stained and dirty I could barely tell.  The carpet had faded to a disgusting shade of green and it looked like someone had spilled coffee on the center of it.  The house only had three bedrooms, so Mom was sharing the largest one with Sam and David, Robbie and Simon were sharing another, and Ruthie and I got the third. I walked up the creaky steps and found Ruthie in one of the rooms.

            "This isn't bad." I said brightly, taking in the tiny room and its bright orange walls.

            "Both of our beds won't fit in here."  She observed.

            "We'll make it work."  I assured her.  We both headed to the room that Simon had gone into, and saw that it was no bigger than ours.

            "This sucks."  He muttered.  It was the first time since Dad's death that I had heard him express an opinion about anything.

            "Yeah, and it's mom's fault."  Ruthie added.  "She's supposed to be the parent, but she fell apart worse than any of us.  Instead of supporting us, she made things harder for us.  She didn't even care that we had to move. I hate her."

            "Ruthie, that's not true."  I said gently.

            "Yes it is.  She gave up.  Sure the rest of us are having problems, but we didn't just give up."

            "It's true."  Simon agreed.  "She wouldn't care if the rest of us died too."

            I wanted to tell them to stop, but I knew they were partly right.  Instead I picked up a bag and slowly started unpacking.

            ****************************************************************************************

*Annie's POV*

            I stood outside of the doorway, listening to the conversation my children were having.  Obviously they hadn't heard me come in, but I had heard every word that they. And it hurt, because I knew it was true.  I had stopped paying attention to their lives. I was slightly aware that Simon and Ruthie were getting in trouble at school, and that Lucy and Robbie were spending their entire days working, but I had been too caught up in my depression to care.  Now hearing the hurtful comments was too much to bear.  Even though I hadn't told them, they were what was still keeping me alive.  And now they hated me. Tears dripped down my face as I walked away from the door to my own room.  

            Who's POV do you think I should use in the next chapter?  Please let me know, because it's probably getting old having the same ones in every chapter. 


	9. Help

            Wsk8r, no I don't mind if you use the house idea in your story!

**********************************************************************************************

*Robbie's POV*

            "Robbie, I'm getting my own apartment, and I think you should too."  Kevin informed me after Mrs. Camden walked into the house.

            "I can't.  I don't have any money."

            "Well neither do they.  You are just one more mouth they have to feed, they can't afford it.  Think about it."  He picked up Sam, who was chasing David around the yard, and headed inside.

            I didn't want to be a burden to the family, but what other choice did I have?  I had a partial scholarship, but I still needed all the money I had for school.  But then, if I didn't spend so much time taking care of the house, I could get another job.  I had a little extra money right now, I could probably rent a small apartment for awhile.  I decided that as soon as the phones were hooked up, I would make the calls and get out of here as soon as I could.  

*Lucy's POV*

            I walked back outside to grab some more bags and passed Robbie on my way.  "Hey," I greeted him, and he stopped.

            "I'm moving out.  I don't want to be anymore trouble for you guys.  I'm gonna stay in an apartment."  Without waiting for my response, he walked away, leaving me staring after him in shock.  So Robbie was leaving.  Dad was gone, Mom was pretty much gone too, Kevin and Robbie were leaving.  Why should I stay? It was too late.  I now realized sadly.  There was nothing I could do to save my family.  I didn't want to abandon them, but what choice did I have?  I could stay and spend my life babysitting the twins and bringing in the money, never go back to school, and have to deal with my mother and siblings depressed silence.  Or I could move in with the man I loved, get a part time job, and complete my courses and become a minister.  The choice was obvious, but it still hurt.  I found Kevin in the living room and grabbed his arm.  I took a deep breath, making sure I was positive about my decision before saying, "I want to move with you."

*Matt's POV*

            A week after Lucy called to say my family was moving, I got off work, got excused from my classes, and boarded a plan to California.  I know it is pretty stupid to fly across the country just because my family was moving, especially since I had just been there a month ago for the funeral, but I had to.  Something in Lucy's voice when I talked to her made me feel like something was very wrong.  After the plane landed, I took a taxi to the address Lucy had given me.  When I arrived, I paid the cab driver and took a look at the house.  It was small and old, but not too bad.  I knocked on the front door and waited for nearly two minutes before it opened.  Simon stood in the doorway, glaring at me.  "Hey!" I greeted him.

            "Hi." He replied, not appearing the least bit surprised to see me.  

            "Uh, can I come in?" I asked awkwardly. _Maybe this wasn't such  a good idea._

            He stepped aside and I entered the small living room.  There were plates of food and glasses all over the place, and the floor was littered with Sam and David's toys.  The twins themselves were sitting on the floor playing with some blocks.  "Hi guys!" I said, walking over to hug them.  I stopped suddenly when I got close enough to see how dirty they were and how smelly.  "Uh, Simon? When's the last time they had a bath?"

            "I dunno.  Maybe four days ago?"  He answered, sitting down on a ripped chair.

            "Four days?!  That's disgusting.  Doesn't Mom know?"

            "I don't think so.  She doesn't do anything for them anymore."  He didn't sound at all concerned.

            "What is going on with you guys?  Where's Lucy?"

            "Lucy moved out with Kevin.  Robbie's gone too.  Mom hasn't come out of her room in almost a week.  If Ruthie or I don't do it, it doesn't get done."  He answered matter-of-factly. 

            _Wow.  Mom must be seriously depressed.  I can't believe Lucy would leave like that. I have to do something.  "Do you have Lucy's number?"_

            "Ruthie does.  RUTHIE!!!!!"  He yelled up the stairs.

            She walked down, barely acknowledging me, and turned to Simon.  "What?"

            "What's Lucy's new phone number?"   

            "555-3467. But you can't call her from here.  We couldn't afford to pay the phone bill."

            "I'll be back."  I told them, as I raced out the door. I walked for about 5 minutes before coming to a small gas station with a pay phone, which I used to call Lucy.  

            "Hello?"  She answered.

            "Hey, it's me.  I'm here, in Glen Oak.  What happened?!"

            "What do you mean?  What are you doing here?" she sounded confused.

            "Simon and Ruthie are running the house by themselves.  What happened to Mom?  The twins are being neglected, the house looks like a dump." 

            "I know." She answered, sounding like she was about to cry. "I feel so guilty about leaving them, but I didn't think there was anything I could do."

            "Lucy, they cannot survive like this.  None of them has a job."

            "Simon just got one, at the movie theatre in the promenade."

            "That is not going to pay the bills!  We need to get Mom back on her feet.  That's the only way they'll survive.  She needs some counseling and maybe some anit-depressants.  I'll talk to Doc from the hospital.  I gotta go."  I hung up quickly and dialed Doc's number. 

            "Hello?"

            "Hi, this is Matt Camden…"

*Ruthie's POV*

            "Where do you think he went?" I asked Simon, not really caring.

            "I dunno."

            "Has it really been 4 days since we gave the twins a bath?  And how long has it been since we've eaten?"

            "I don't remember.  But it doesn't matter, we have to save for the bills.  They should be coming in in a few weeks.  Maybe we can order a pizza or something on Saturday."

            "Mom hasn't eaten all week.  Is she gonna be ok?"  Before he could answer, the door opened and Matt walked in.

            "I got mom an appointment with a psychiatrist.  If we can convince her to go, maybe she'll start acting like herself again."

            "You think?" I asked, actually interested.  Maybe our lives could get back to normal.  When Matt nodded, I stood up.  "Let's go"

            I didn't bother to knock on Mom's door because I knew she wouldn't answer.  I walked in and tried to adjust to the darkness of the room.  "Mom, we have to talk to you.  Matt's here."

            "Matt?" she whispered, and he grabbed her hand. 

            "Mom," he said gently.  "We want to help.  I made you an appointment with a psychiatrist. He'll help you through this.  I know it's hard, but you have to be here for Simon, Ruthie, and the twins.  They need you."

            "No," she cried "They don't.  They hate me.  I heard them say it.  I'm a horrible mother."

            "No, Mom." Simon spoke up. "You are just going through a rough time.  That is not your fault.  If you refuse help, then it will be your fault."

            "Mom, I don't hate you."  I told her, almost crying myself.  "I was just mad that you weren't there for me when I needed you, but I never stopped to think about what you were going through.  Now I know how hard it was for you, and I'm sorry about what I said.  We really do need you." 

            She sat up slowly and looked at us.  "I'll try." She whispered.  "I promise I'll try to get better."

            "Thanks Mom." I said, giving her a big hug. "I love you."


	10. I Can Go On

*Lucy's POV*

            Just as I walked into the house after work, the phone started to ring.  I hurried over to it, hoping it would be Matt again.  I was eager to find out what was going on with Mom.  "Hello?"

            "Hey, it's me."  Matt answered

            "How is she?  Did she see the psychiatrist?" 

            "Yeah, I just brought her home.  I think it helped a lot.  She didn't say much on the ride home, but she didn't look as sad.  The doctor gave her a prescription for anti-depressants, and he wants to see her twice a week.  She called the high school, and they hadn't filled her job yet, so she got it back.  She's only going to teach a few times a week, though, because the doctor said she should take it easy."

            "Wow.  That's great."  I said, but I felt sort of jealous.  I had been trying to bring the family back together for over a month and hadn't succeeded, but Matt had in only a few hours.  "So, do you want me to come home?"  I asked, hoping he would say yes.  I hadn't realized how much I missed being needed by my family.

            "Well, I don't think they need you. I'm going to stay for a week or so.  Mom doesn't have to pay for the psychiatrist, my friend Doc took care of it.  I talked to several church members, and they agreed to donate some money to help the family.  We called Robbie, and he is going to move back in in a few weeks too.  I wouldn't want to bother you when we're doing fine by ourselves."

            _We?__  I thought  __Until__ a week ago, I had been included in we, __not Matt.  He had left us, and now he was taking over.  "Ok, great." I said, in a fake cheerful voice.  We talked for a few more minutes before hanging up.  _

            Did they really not need me anymore?  After all I had done for them, they didn't need me?

*Simon's POV*

            After two weeks of therapy, mom was acting a lot more like herself.  It was almost like the whole family had been going, because the rest of us were starting to act normal too.  After a long lecture from mom, Ruthie and I had started taking school seriously again.  Luckily my teachers let me take re takes on the test and quizzes I had failed in the past month, because of the hard times we were going through.  Matt had gone back home yesterday, and Robbie had moved back in.  Everything was getting so much better so fast that it was hard to believe.  

            I was doing my homework when the doorbell rang. Since I was eager for a break, I jumped up and opened it, seeing Lucy on the steps.  She had suitcases with her.

            "What are you doing?" I asked

            "Moving back in.  I know you guys think you don't need me, and that Matt is some kind of genius for bringing the family back together, but you're wrong.  Who do you think was trying to do the same thing for over a month?  Just because Matt has some friends at the hospital does not mean that he should get all of the credit!"  She looked angrier than I had ever seen her.  Thinking back, I vaguely remembered her coming into my room everyday and asking about school, but I had ignored her.  I guess she really had been trying. 

            "I'm sorry, Lucy. You're right.  I guess the only reason we listened to Matt and not you was because by then we knew how hard it was to run the house by ourselves, and we would do anything so we wouldn't have to anymore.  I'm really sorry."

            "Thank you."  She said, finally smiling, hugging me, and walking into the house.  

*Annie's POV*

            As I was getting ready for my counseling session, my door flew open, and I saw Lucy.   "I want an apology right now." She demanded angrily. "For a month I was the only one in the house even trying to get on with my life.  Robbie and I took care of _everything!  I talked to everyone and walked around smiling and happy all the time just trying to get you all to act like yourselves.  Then Matt comes, gets you an appointment, and suddenly, he's the hero?  What about all I did?" _

            "Honey, I'm so sorry."  I said, reaching out to hug her. She was right.  I had ignored her efforts and only thanked Matt because he was the one who had actually gotten the appointment.  "I was just so depressed I didn't want to see anyone.  I heard what you were saying to me, but I didn't really understand what was happening.  You were the only one that did.  We would have fallen apart long ago if it wasn't for you, and we appreciate it.  Would you please move back in?  I don't know if we can fully recover without you."  

            "Yes, I'd be glad to."  She said, smiling at me.

*Lucy's POV*

            One year.  It had been exactly one year since my father had died.  One long year.  After the family had moved into a larger house, and mom had completely recovered from her depression, I had moved back with Kevin.  I had two years of college left before I could become the new minister at Glen Oak community church, and I knew dad would be proud of me.  Robbie was about to graduate from college, and he was going to be an elementary school teacher.  He and his new girlfriend were moving into their own house a few minutes away, but we would still see him often.  Simon was a senior in high school now and had gotten early acceptance from the University of Arizona.  He would be moving in with our grandfather and Ginger while he attended school. Ruthie was doing so well in school that her teachers suggested that she move up a grade, so she was now a freshman in high school even though she had just turned 13.  The twins had starting kindergarten, and loved it. Mom was doing much better.  She had been promoted to principal at her school and was completely back to normal. 

            I was a little worried about how the family would handle the anniversary of Dad's death, but they seemed to be doing fine.  Although we had switched to a new church after his death, I had been offered a chance to speak at our old one that Sunday, at a service in Dad's memory.  I was both honored and terrified.  I wasn't sure if I could keep from breaking down in front of the huge audience while talking about my father, but I had to try for him.  

            I walked up to the front of the church, and everyone became quiet.  I nervously cleared by throat.  "O-o-one"  I began, then stopped, and took a deep breath.  I saw my family, sitting in the seats we had always sat in.  They all smiled encouragingly.  Being in this church, where my dad had stood so many times before, made me feel so connected with him.  It was like he was sitting with them, watching me.  And he was smiling.  As long as he was watching me, I would be ok.  He would always be there with me, giving me the courage to go on.  So I began to talk.

            "One year ago, I lost my father, the greatest man I ever knew. He was the most loving, caring, thoughtful…"

*Finished*   

What did you think? Was the ending stupid?  Please review!  Thanks!


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